$$

ikea-graveyard:

Okay this white dude had a black girlfriend and they were walking by me and the dude said, “you know what babe, realtors are so lazy when it comes to financing” and she literally replied with, “why do you have to talk about the most boring shit, Steve”.

Typical school day

180mph:

Me: *bench presses the teacher*

Teacher: Put me down

bachofficial:

seeing someone from school in public

image

guy:

one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald

thatdudeemu:

sojetlife:

roxannemonologues:

I love to hear him whisper “Fuck” or “Shit” when I throw it back.

i love to hear her moan yes and don’t stop, while I’m strokin

I love to hear them say praise The Lord and thank you Jesus while We in church